I Blame The Pizza Industry

Just so you guys know, Chefs HATE doing special orders.

You know who you are: “I’d like the salmon please, but can you not put onions on it? and change the greens to spinach? and put the sauce on the side?”

Like we’ve got nothing else to deal with:

The brain-dead hostess just sat seven tables at once, without telling us; the bartender wants to know where the plunger is because the men’s bathroom is stopped-up; one of the waitstaff just took a dish to the wrong table; and the dishwasher is staring blankly into space wondering what to do next, the piles of dirty pots and dishes notwithstanding.

So yeah, I’d be happy to just drop everything and make your special order.

The fault for this does indeed lie with the Pizza Industry: assemble your own, while great at such a business, has become endemic, indeed the norm, at “normal” restaurants too. Trust me folks, the workflow and demands of a professional kitchen simply aren’t set-up to deal with this sort of nonsense. My job, our job, is perfection in all things at all times in an untenable work environment, and this is just antithetical to the production-line environment of a Pizza shop.

I don’t want to be a hypocrite, so some full disclosure: Yes…..I have ordered assemble my own pizzas. I don’t have a problem with that either as I understand that the business is organized to accomplish exactly this. If I ever go out to eat though, if it ain’t on the menu, I don’t effing make it up!! Problem here is that I respect the work of the chefs behind feeding me some great food.

Please remember this next time you’re sitting down to a nice meal out. Or tip me and it’ll all be good.


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